Day 7 What a difference a day makes. Last night we went to church. Sis was so energized. We had come up with an idea that at least gave us a reason to fight. Sis had been thrilled by the preaching and had found a scripture that she felt was just for her about having the faith of a mustard seed. It was good, but then it went so bad. When she got up her voice had the same sound and pitch as it did when doctor Church told us it was cancer; barely more than a whisper and down about an octave. She was afraid, in a panic. Oh God … help me … what do I do? I’ve got to help her, but how? What do I say? What do I do? I tried everything I could think of. I told her how much God loved her; how much I loved her. There was nothing I could do that would comfort her. We talked and talked. I asked her what had changed since last night. I’m beginning to recognize that stare; that look, when it looks like I’m losing her. At times there were glimpses of the Sis that happened to things, but they were fleeting. She was crumbling right in front of me. God help me … what do I do? The only thing that seemed to bring any peace to her torment was to plan her funeral. It’s easy to say you’re not afraid to die when it’s not you. Help plan the love of your life’s funeral and tell me you’re not afraid. She’s my family. That’s all there is, her and me. We don’t have any kids. She’s all I’ve got; all I’ll ever have. She seemed better. I thought we got through it. Then there we were again. Right down in the same hole. God help me. I’ve got to help her. She’s so scared. You would be too. You might not think so, but you would be, and if you don’t think so you’re just lying to yourself. I tried to make her mad, I tried to reason with her, I just talked and said anything I could think of . . . I don’t know what to do. Somebody please help us. We always seem to pull up just enough to go on. We get a new resolve. We renew our commitment to the fight. Let’s help somebody else. We’ve got right now, let’s make he most of it. We met with a group of friends. We prayed, they laid hands on us; we shared what we were going through. It was good. That kind of support, that kind of love, from friends and new friends, we need it … we need it. Sis was so brave. She shared her heart; she shared her vision. She was at her best; she was giving, she was coaching, she was leading … and she was falling apart. What do I do? I’ve got to help her. All she needs to do is be Sis, but it’s so hard … so hard. <backI’ll never stop loving her. That’s all I know right now. She’s asleep now finally, thank God. Tomorrow … we’ll see.