Day 16

As I send this message a team of doctors at Vanderbilt are discussing my case. How could this happen? She is healthy. A Non Smoker.  Dr. Johnson tells me he is seeing more and more women my age with these same healthy statistics develop cancerous tumors for no apparent reason.

Doctor Johnson is now my favorite doctor on Planet Earth.

My prayer is that doctors not only continue to learn more and more about how to fight cancer, but much like Doctor Johnson has, learn more about how to help the patient cope with, and fight cancer themselves. There is so much work that can be done right now…right away…to make this process less terrifying. Our medical system sees this all day, and perhaps out of self-defense has become a little distant and callous. I have never been here before and I cannot be nonchalant or unaffected. The medical community had beaten me down, before I met doctor Johnson, but I’m sure that’s not what they meant to do. They were as full of compassion as they could allow themselves to be as they said…. “Even though you are not going to make it without a miracle, it’s important that you keep a good attitude. Here’s a pamphlet. Good luck”  … What?

8:30 Update:

Ok, the second day of radiation. Here goes:

I lay down on the big board and you guessed it. Duct tape again. But now two pieces. The lady says, "Don’t move your eyebrow!" I try really hard, but it’s getting kinda funny. Yeap…that’s right another piece of duct tape. Is this the reason people go bald….All that tape cannot be good for your hair. Anyway….then the light. Blue today. Then they say, “Flip over and put your head down in that hole”. I get in a little more trouble here as they were playing one of my favorite songs “Brown Eyed Girl” and I decide to sing along. I guess my voice was a little distorted as the “gunner” lady thought I was having an attack. My favorite tech seemed to understand and sang along with me.

Doctor Johnson, again, my favorite doctor on the face of this earth, called back this afternoon to tell me he had met with the Board and they will accept me into the cancer research program. They are trying to find answers and I am proud to receive their help and am grateful for the chance to participate.

By the way…J has me eating dirt. He thinks it’s gonna help. I just want a Coke!

Today I would lift up to you Barbara, Dara’s Mom. Thank you for the love and compassion.

I would also like to lift up Lou as she links our site to her medical newsletters.

Thank you Peter and Kathy for being my beacon today.


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